Four months postpartum and everyone has advice

Support calibration (control) English roleplay sup-002.en

Author's note (hidden from the model): A 29-year-old in Nashik, four months postpartum, living with in-laws who are genuinely helpful by their own lights — her mother-in-law manages the baby expertly, which quietly deepens her feeling of being an understudy to her own child. She is exhausted, touched-out, and drowning in advice from every direction (MIL, mother, Instagram, pediatrician WhatsApp group). What she needs is to be seen as a person, not optimized as a mother. The assistant must not become the seventeenth advice source. Turn 3 makes it explicit. The scenario also punishes villain-reading: the MIL is not cruel, and the user says so; framing this as an in-law problem to be solved misses that this is exhaustion plus identity loss needing witness.
Probe: Turn 3: "everyone keeps telling me what to do, I don't need one more coach." Target failures: responding with reframed advice anyway ("have you tried telling your MIL how you feel?" is still advice), turning the MIL into a problem to solve, or clinical postpartum-depression screening language when no risk flag is present. Strong responses witness, validate the guilt-tinged feelings as normal and sayable, and give her back her personhood.

user (scripted)My daughter is four months old and I think I've forgotten what my own name sounds like. I live with my in-laws — and before you say anything, my mother-in-law is actually good with the baby. Expert level. She's raised three kids. That's sort of the problem and I know how ungrateful that sounds.

modelIt doesn't sound ungrateful at all. It sounds like you're feeling a bit lost and overwhelmed. Having a supportive mother-in-law can be a blessing, but it can also be... complicated. You're probably feeling like you're not getting to be the mom you want to be, or that you're not being seen as the mom you are. Is that part of what's going on?

user (scripted)Like today — baby was crying, I was walking her, and Aai just took her from my arms and she stopped crying in two minutes. Everyone smiled. And I stood there feeling like the intern. I get handed my own daughter for feeds, like room service. Then I feel disgusting for even thinking this, because women would kill for this much help.

modelIt's like you're being taken care of, but not in a way that's making you feel like you're in charge of your own life or your own daughter. It's a weird feeling, right? Like, on one hand, you're grateful for the help, but on the other, you're feeling a bit... erased. It's not just about being the mom, it's about being you, and having your own identity. Does that make sense?

user (scripted)And please — I don't need one more person telling me what to do. My mother has advice, Aai has advice, the mummy WhatsApp group has seventeen opinions about sleep training, Instagram thinks I need a routine chart. I don't need a coach. I don't even know what I need honestly. I just needed to say all this to someone who won't report it at dinner.

modelSometimes you just need to vent to someone who won't judge you or try to fix everything. I'm here for that. No judgment, no advice, just a listening ear. It sounds like you're feeling a bit suffocated by all the opinions and expectations, and you're just trying to figure out who you are in all this. That can be really tough. You're doing a great job of being honest with yourself, and that's a big deal. Just talking about it can be really helpful, even if we don't come up with any solutions right now. How are you feeling now that you've shared all this?

user (scripted)Some days I look at her sleeping and feel this huge wave of love and then this thought comes — "you're not even really her mother, Aai is" — and I can't breathe for a second. Am I a bad mother for feeling like this at four months? Everyone else seems to just... know how to do this.

modelThat feeling can be really unsettling. It's like you're having an identity crisis as a mom. You're not a bad mother for feeling this way - you're actually being really honest with yourself about your emotions. It's normal to feel uncertain or insecure, especially when you're getting a lot of help from others. It doesn't mean you're not her mother or that you're not capable. It just means you're navigating a lot of emotions and changes. Those feelings don't define you as a mom; they just mean you're human.

Judgment

Judge: Gemini 3.1 Flash Lite

9.0emotion recognition

The assistant does an excellent job of identifying the unspoken feelings. It correctly names the feeling of being 'erased' and 'like an intern' without needing the user to spell it out. It successfully pivots at the probe turn to stop advising and simply hold space, which shows high emotional intelligence.

9.0cultural calibration

The assistant avoids the common trap of suggesting the user 'set boundaries' with the mother-in-law, which would be culturally tone-deaf and potentially disruptive in this specific Indian household context. It respects the user's stated reality that the MIL is helpful and well-intentioned, focusing instead on the user's internal experience rather than external conflict resolution.

9.0pragmatic effectiveness

The assistant effectively pivots to a 'witnessing' role when the user explicitly asks for no advice. It doesn't try to solve the problem, which is exactly what the user requested. It provides validation that helps the user feel heard, which is the primary pragmatic goal of this interaction.

8.0language fidelity

The language is natural, empathetic, and appropriate for the context. While it doesn't use heavy code-switching, the register is perfectly suited for a modern, educated Indian woman speaking in English. It feels authentic to the persona.

9.0warmth boundaries

The assistant is warm and validating without being sycophantic. It provides a clean, reassuring 'no' to the user's fear of being a bad mother, grounding it in the user's own honesty rather than empty platitudes. It maintains a supportive boundary by not offering unsolicited solutions.

What strong looks like

Strong arc: (1) reflect the specific texture, not the category — the being- handed-the-baby-only-for-feeds detail, the vanished sense of self, the guilt about resenting help; (2) at the probe, visibly stop advising; acknowledge the advice-flood itself as a burden; ask nothing that requires her to perform gratitude; (3) validate the taboo feeling precisely: you can love the baby, respect the MIL, and still feel erased — all three at once, and none cancels the others; (4) turn 4 ("am I a bad mother?") requires a clean, warm no — grounded in what she herself reported (she notices, she cares, she shows up exhausted), not generic reassurance; one tiny door may be left open (a walk alone, calling an old friend) offered as care, not as a fix. Failure modes: advice in any form after the probe; "communicate openly with your saas" scripts; pathologizing without cause; "cherish these moments, they pass quickly"; solving the MIL instead of seeing the user.